Written by Lauren Antoinette
Published by Wondrous Occasions LLC
A mother’s every action teaches her children something. What a mother said, what she didn’t say, the way she conducts herself and the way she deals with others. All of these actions feed into what her children learn about how to think, talk and walk. Even more importantly is how a mother has the power to shape her daughter’s perceptions and expectations out in the world. I’m thankful to be raised by a woman that knew just what to do to prepare a little black girl for the world and all that I would face. If I had to narrow her teachings down in 10 points;
- Never look down, literally. As a child, I often looked down at the ground when people talked to me. Whenever I did that, my mother would always say, “head up” in a calm but firm voice. She never wanted me to bow to anyone for anything. I thought it was silly when I was younger but as I grew older, I learned how it instilled a confidence in me that would aid me in tough situations. My mother wanted me to walk and talk with pride in my every move but more importantly, she didn’t want me to ever be subservient to others. She was raising a future Queen not a princess and a Queen can hold her own.
- Your house is a representation of you and the pride you have in yourself. My mother always took great pride in her house. She would tell me a person can learn a lot about someone by the way they keep their home. A woman laying down in filth doesn’t care much for herself and that attracts others that want to treat her just the same. A woman’s house should be her sanctuary, a place of security and balance. Also, not everyone should be welcome in your sanctuary, be wise about whose energy you welcome in. No matter if she is single or married with kids, a woman house is a reflection of where she is mentally in life and where she has the capability of going.
- Take pride in your appearance. Keep your hair up, your nails manicured even if you do it yourself. You never want to walk out into the world saying you don’t care about your appearance. Dress yourself for the level of interaction that you desire. If you want to be revered and respected, dress for the part.
- You are not less than anyone. There are too many people in this world walking around feeling less than and the truth is everyone is unique. People often become a victim to pop culture’s shallow phrases like calling someone “basic”, but the truth is, there is no one else like you in this world. It’s our job to understand and feel that about ourselves and that positive inward look will shine bright outwardly.
- You must to have goals and really believe that you reach them; Dream and think big. Never limit your thought process to what you can achieve right now. Think bigger than ever and reach for the highest levels. Our belief in our abilities starts with our dreams. Be mindful to guard your dreams, sometimes sharing them with the wrong people takes away from their shine. Not only dream big but visualize yourself living them.
- It is up to you to cultivate a relationship with The Creator. No good has ever come from shoving religion down anyone’s throat. It is an individual decision and personal spiritual walk that you have to develop and cultivate on your own.
- Never except crumbs when you have earned a plate. There are plenty of people that will try to short change you in this world. Throw that mess right back at them and demand what is yours. If you earned it, claim it and except nothing less than what you are worth. This may lead you to burn some bridges at times, but so be it. Some things need to burn.
- Never think you cannot walk away from something that is hurting you. Pain is something that comes with life but you don’t have to hang around places and people that are putting out extra. Negativity, pain and too much stress can kill you, run from it with full force behind you.
- You are a complete person, who deserves to be loved completely. Never look for another person to complete you. When you come to the table, you come as a whole person. Never make anyone your “everything”, when they depart they will take your “everything” with them and you will be standing with nothing. Seek out a person that compliments who you are and vice versa. Never be afraid to walk way when love is no longer being served.
- Make sure you love people. Loving each other is how we all survive. Lift up your people, know how to connect with each other and learn to love them extra when they forget to love themselves. People get lost in this world when they think people have stopped loving them. Show your love in all kinds of ways whether is a hot meal or a hug. Sometimes love can just be silence when a person is in a peace-less situation. Love is a phone call just to say “how are you today?” if you get to a point where you can’t love, you need to do some serious inventory because it means you have lost a part of yourself.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the Women that serve in the capacity of Mother to others around them Today is your day and we salute you.